But will you leave a footprint in my Heart?
Miss Miss Miss
Love Love Love
30.3.07
Hey you,
yes you. good morning. Its 1.17 now in the morning and this is my 2nd post for the day. I was actually sleeping just now when i suddenly woke up followed by series of scratching. Don't ask me why. AND no, my bed does'nt have any bed fleas. I was cursing and swearing cause when i looked at the time it was just past midnite!! I cannot get back to sleep once i am awake, so i am thankful that i have internet connection and SCV to keep me going. I was blog-hopping as per usual when i came across this lady's blog. I somehow recognise her thru this website anakmelayu. You know back then, one time, suddenly they have clans and alliances coming up and i dutifully kononnye want to be a part of it. Someone from the net i got aquaintted with intived me to join her clan which was GIMY ( which later only remained bout 4 people only, I THINK).So thats how i recognise her lah. But that's not my drift you know. What i'm going to share is my sentiments towards what she's going thru somebody. Sorry love, if i never got the whole story correct. But assuming from what you wrote on your blog, you must be very heart broken.
Now Eqa, it is sad enough for me to read your blog about you ranting that you love him, and he on the other hand does'nt love you back. How could he have done that? Dahling, don't blame yourself for whatever had happen. Never. Look at you! You are a beautiful babe. Think of it this way, its HIS lost!not YOUR lost hokay. Right now it seems to me that he have the control over you. Because he knew that you are still not over him, he is somehow taking advantage of the situation. Generally guys feel good about themself when someone actually would do anything for them.
Which then, gave me the vast impression of how heartless a guy can me. Eqa is not just one example i'm relating too. Look at my gf, Enah, she went thru a series of heartbreak before meeting her love. Nani, even is going thru a turmoil because of love. DO you guys have feelings in the first place?? Can't you spare us girls the complexity of love? You know, there were occasion of time when Enah would coyly say, "Eh if like tis hor, alamat jadi anak dara tua lah" She might say it for fun sake, but deep down, there are the fears that she went thru before. I, too, have been thru such situation. God, i shall not eloborate what happen.
Disclaimer: It may create some unwanted dispute, but i meant no harm. This is purely my own personal view, so save your dissing!
yes you. good morning. Its 1.17 now in the morning and this is my 2nd post for the day. I was actually sleeping just now when i suddenly woke up followed by series of scratching. Don't ask me why. AND no, my bed does'nt have any bed fleas. I was cursing and swearing cause when i looked at the time it was just past midnite!! I cannot get back to sleep once i am awake, so i am thankful that i have internet connection and SCV to keep me going. I was blog-hopping as per usual when i came across this lady's blog. I somehow recognise her thru this website anakmelayu. You know back then, one time, suddenly they have clans and alliances coming up and i dutifully kononnye want to be a part of it. Someone from the net i got aquaintted with intived me to join her clan which was GIMY ( which later only remained bout 4 people only, I THINK).So thats how i recognise her lah. But that's not my drift you know. What i'm going to share is my sentiments towards what she's going thru somebody. Sorry love, if i never got the whole story correct. But assuming from what you wrote on your blog, you must be very heart broken.
Now Eqa, it is sad enough for me to read your blog about you ranting that you love him, and he on the other hand does'nt love you back. How could he have done that? Dahling, don't blame yourself for whatever had happen. Never. Look at you! You are a beautiful babe. Think of it this way, its HIS lost!not YOUR lost hokay. Right now it seems to me that he have the control over you. Because he knew that you are still not over him, he is somehow taking advantage of the situation. Generally guys feel good about themself when someone actually would do anything for them.
Which then, gave me the vast impression of how heartless a guy can me. Eqa is not just one example i'm relating too. Look at my gf, Enah, she went thru a series of heartbreak before meeting her love. Nani, even is going thru a turmoil because of love. DO you guys have feelings in the first place?? Can't you spare us girls the complexity of love? You know, there were occasion of time when Enah would coyly say, "Eh if like tis hor, alamat jadi anak dara tua lah" She might say it for fun sake, but deep down, there are the fears that she went thru before. I, too, have been thru such situation. God, i shall not eloborate what happen.
Disclaimer: It may create some unwanted dispute, but i meant no harm. This is purely my own personal view, so save your dissing!
29.3.07
I found this skin by chance i have the urge to change my blogskin. Lovely is'nt it. White and just cheery. Unlike my last skin (as if i had many!heh), it seems so black and gloomy. Well, i am still adjusting to the new skin that i just had to keep on looking at it for a zillionth time. Talk about paranoia! or was it kiasu? haha
Anyway,i came back home from work feeling so motivated. Motivated to exercise. Oh man, one of semangat 2 minute is up again. If Enah and Masline read this, they must have the same thought i guess.Haha. Because whenever i meet up with the both of them, i go, "eh i want to exercise lah!" "eh i should start to exercise". There was even a time when i bought this bellydancing cd for me to start off, but hey, aku ke mana, cd tu ke mana!
But i many many reason for me to start dieting and exercising. When i met the girls last Sunday, I felt fat! Yes i did! In fact the truth was I am fat. Imagine the akwardness i felt (though i cleverly never show)!! If you look at the pictures i posted, don't you think that the smiles look fake? Not that i din't want to smile, but fact was,the whole time i was talking and asking myself, do i look good among them? my my look at what i have done to myself. But then again, i take this reason, to futher motivate me to look good for myself. After all i am single. Single people have to look good right?.... NOT! Confidence Nadya! Confidence! Where have your confidence gone? OH nOooooooo..
No offence girls, i am not jealous, but just full of envy. Envy that you guys have the confidence to strut it off. I lost my confidence oredi. Dunno where it has gone. Now, now, it's time to find it back is'nt it.
So nadya.
Semoga maju jaya eh!
Heh heh heh
Anyway,i came back home from work feeling so motivated. Motivated to exercise. Oh man, one of semangat 2 minute is up again. If Enah and Masline read this, they must have the same thought i guess.Haha. Because whenever i meet up with the both of them, i go, "eh i want to exercise lah!" "eh i should start to exercise". There was even a time when i bought this bellydancing cd for me to start off, but hey, aku ke mana, cd tu ke mana!
But i many many reason for me to start dieting and exercising. When i met the girls last Sunday, I felt fat! Yes i did! In fact the truth was I am fat. Imagine the akwardness i felt (though i cleverly never show)!! If you look at the pictures i posted, don't you think that the smiles look fake? Not that i din't want to smile, but fact was,the whole time i was talking and asking myself, do i look good among them? my my look at what i have done to myself. But then again, i take this reason, to futher motivate me to look good for myself. After all i am single. Single people have to look good right?.... NOT! Confidence Nadya! Confidence! Where have your confidence gone? OH nOooooooo..
No offence girls, i am not jealous, but just full of envy. Envy that you guys have the confidence to strut it off. I lost my confidence oredi. Dunno where it has gone. Now, now, it's time to find it back is'nt it.
So nadya.
Semoga maju jaya eh!
Heh heh heh
28.3.07
I guess i woke up from the wrong side of the bed today. I woke up feeling bitter. Suddenly it gets to me. Today is the second day i had the same dream, only the dream today describes how i felt deep down. I have never as a person able to communicate with other of how i truly feel of certain thing or personal stuff. I tried before but it never get across to them of how i wanted it to be. And i felt rejected. Rejected because when i tried to pour out my feelings, personal ones, they don't seem to take seriously about it. Or at least i think that way. So my dream, i guess is where i really pour out my deepest inner thoughts. I dreamt of him. I dreamt, i was in the bus, double decker to be precise. I sat at the top. And then i saw him. Yes him with his new girlfriend. In the dream, i immediately had a rushed emotion. Butterflies in my stomach. I always expected that i would be well prepared to face such situatio, but not. I wanted to cry. I only manage to wintch in dismay. Now in reality, i thought i have gotten over him. Reason being, i never cried when he left me, not like when my other ex boyfriend left me. I never thought of him often though here and there i would check my hp for missed call. Maybe i was to caught up with work that i never had the chance to feel so. But the dream... i felt so much. I wanted so much to move on. I kept telling myself, i don't need to find another man to delude myself from this situation. There are so many other ways,yet i always imagine myself with someone else, and there he saw me with him. I imagine that he would be red-eyed seeing me with another person. I imagine him have full regret of not taking care better of me when we were together. Imagine, imagine, imagine. That was all i could muster. I right now,am taking a very deep breath. Time will heal they say. But thing is, how long? I muster lots of courage to keep this to myself.
Ughhhh.
Well, on a lighter note, my cousin from JB gotten himself a ob at Macs. I, as his cousin is anxiously happy of him. Yesterday, i excitedly went dwn tot macs to lend him e support. First day mahh!
And on the happy happy note, a friend whom i just got aquinted with invited me to go to the Marks and Spencer Fashion Show this Saturday!! How cool is that!!! I am so looking forward to it.
26.3.07
I am so freakkkkkking pissed!! I woke up early in the morning, happily blogging about yesterday FUN outing i had, when one click of i-don't -know-what-i-press, and poof all the long entries that i crack up to write just hilang! OH MY GOD, i was writing about my current favourite word, OH MY GOD, my new old friend found Dayah! The sheer laughter we had, the GOOD food I had, about how we manage to the place down with our shrieking high pitch monstorous laughter.,*points to nani and dayah* ,about how i jokingly tell nani to pass her precious digicam which is full of me and enah's picture and she blurly said yes, pokingly teasing Enah about her secretively not telling she is finally attached to her LOVE after being 3 years single. maybe that explains why she gave a huge treat to all of us! hah! all that stories that will keep you going on reading with pleasure! oh my god!! and maybe that's the reason why it unmotivate me to blog!
Sorry yuni and farah, i don't have any pictures of yu. But i had uber fun with both of yu, and Yuni, laugh more!
Urgh! I am not going to layment anymore. Heart pain thinking about it. I'll show you the pictures instead!
Sorry yuni and farah, i don't have any pictures of yu. But i had uber fun with both of yu, and Yuni, laugh more!
new old friend found, DAYAH! Credits to Enah who bring us together!
21.3.07
If my blog is alive and kicking, it or shall i give a gender 'her', she would dump me as a friend. Poor her, i've abandon my unlucky blog for such a long time. So many too update yet i never had the urge to blog in on. Pictures are readily available,yet im very very lazy to upload.Anyway, my life sucks at the moment. No, i can't blog any longer, my uncle hospitalized and im here to give him a visit and maybe lecture him a bit on what landed him in the hospital again.HAH,cigarette. Heheh. Ok till again.
Btw NENNY! I heart you. I miss yu! IF you are reading this, give flying kisses to your chuby cheeks, we will mit up soon, i promise!
7.3.07
A dear friend of mine ida gave me this wonderful email that i felt i should share with all.
MOTHER
MOTHER
This is a truly BEAUTIFUL piece please For those lucky to still be blessed with your Mom,this is beautiful. For those of us who aren't, this is even more beautiful. For those who are moms, you'll love this. The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Isthis the long way?" she asked. And the guide said: "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning." But the young mother was happy, and she would notbelieve that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, and gathered flowers forthem along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; andthe sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried,"Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."
Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, "Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."
And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children," A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."
And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today, I 've given them strength." And the next day came strange clouds which darkenedthe earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children gropedand stumbled, and the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light. " And the children looked and saw above the cloudsan everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond thedarkness. And that night the Mother said, "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God."
And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked withcourage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her,for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children canwalk alone, and their children after them."
And the children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gatesclosed after her. And they said: "We cannot see herbut she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living presence......." Your Mother is always with you.... She's the whisperof the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool handon your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop.She's the place you came from, your first home; and she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first loveand your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can separate you.
Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, "Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."
And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children," A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."
And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today, I 've given them strength." And the next day came strange clouds which darkenedthe earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children gropedand stumbled, and the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light. " And the children looked and saw above the cloudsan everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond thedarkness. And that night the Mother said, "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God."
And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked withcourage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her,for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children canwalk alone, and their children after them."
And the children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gatesclosed after her. And they said: "We cannot see herbut she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living presence......." Your Mother is always with you.... She's the whisperof the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool handon your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop.She's the place you came from, your first home; and she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first loveand your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can separate you.
2.3.07
Mama,your daughter loves you so much that it hurts knowing the bitter truth. Weeping silently wishing that i am strong enough for you. Why oh why,a great mother like you have to face such turbulance. Yet you face it with great positivity that even i, could not have done it if even i am in your shoe. Regret was never a vocab in my dictionary, but I truly regret for not making you a happy mother.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
