back to work. but mind not at ease. kept thinking of momma.
sigh.
i rather be at home now.
29.12.08
27.12.08
26.12.08
My blood just boiled.
In fact it's at the boiling point.
FUCKING LADY
SOAB.
called my home, introduce herself frm the HOSPICE.
FUCKING HOSPICE.
" may i know when your mum need the service?" was the first sentence afterwhich.
i was appalled of course upon hearing that. A hospice-service calling my home.
and i questioned her.
Her reply,
"OH hospital refer. Your mum last stage what"
There and then i just want to scream at her. If she was speaking face to face, i swear i would have boxed her dead.
ASS.
fucking call, with no emphaty somemore talk nochalantly.
In fact it's at the boiling point.
FUCKING LADY
SOAB.
called my home, introduce herself frm the HOSPICE.
FUCKING HOSPICE.
" may i know when your mum need the service?" was the first sentence afterwhich.
i was appalled of course upon hearing that. A hospice-service calling my home.
and i questioned her.
Her reply,
"OH hospital refer. Your mum last stage what"
There and then i just want to scream at her. If she was speaking face to face, i swear i would have boxed her dead.
ASS.
fucking call, with no emphaty somemore talk nochalantly.
New year is just around the corner.
Im not dreading for it to come, just that i want to stretch it lil bit longer to be mentally and physically prepared for the year ahead.
This year seem to fly within a bat of an eyelid.
Wow. Few months back i was whining when the year would come to end.ironically, now that its coming, aint looking forward for it at all.
how are you guys spending your new year?
Im gonna take care of mommy. Simple affaire but worth the time.
Im not dreading for it to come, just that i want to stretch it lil bit longer to be mentally and physically prepared for the year ahead.
This year seem to fly within a bat of an eyelid.
Wow. Few months back i was whining when the year would come to end.ironically, now that its coming, aint looking forward for it at all.
how are you guys spending your new year?
Im gonna take care of mommy. Simple affaire but worth the time.
24.12.08
23.12.08
Her 22nd Birthday!
Dear Nani Martini the fashionista,
May you be young at heart always!
Happy 22nd Birthday Darling!
Get well soon~!
May you be young at heart always!
Happy 22nd Birthday Darling!
Get well soon~!
Last few day has been very overwhelming. Too overwhelming that i caught with a flu while taking care of dearest mum. And only now i got the chance to be at home more than 24 hrs.
Defination of friendship:
"Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words."
Dear friends,
this entry is dedicated to you. It's been days, i know, i should have thanked you guys earlier, but i had not much time. Time was allocated for my mum. So now, this is the opportunity.
Dear Shitness, Thank you for being there for me. Without hesitation to come down to the hospital upon knowing that my mum was admitted to the hospital. I'm touched nevertheless for you guys to make the effort. It is time like this, that i know you guys are friends for life.
To shaz: thank you for the video post. Thank you for the encouraging words you sms me everyday asking how i'm doing.
To aisha: Thank you for informing them of my mum. Thank you for lending me your shoulder and telling me to be strong when im not.
To Hid: It's been a while since i met you. The hug that you gave was uber comforting.
To Nani: Nani, thank you for staying a while longer, holding my hand and sharing your thought in the early morning. I cried reading your msgs, for the thoughts you had touches me, really.
To Barney: Thank you for your endless support. For hugging me and telling that ill still have you.
To Reena : Thanks for coming down babe. *Smiles*
To Yati: Yati, thank you so much for coming for two days tho i know you have a busy schedule. Thanks for the kisses, i need it so much.
To Masline: I miss you so much, and i'm glad you made the effort to see my mum.
To my two lovely guy friends, SOPI and FARID: you both are the best guy friends i had. Sopi, it was never an issue when you said that,i know you meant well ok sis. And Farid, you were the first to call me back when my mum was admitted to the hosp. Thank you for accompanying me on the phone, rushing from work to see my mum.
Last but not least,
MY BESTFRIEND, ENAH.
I cant thank you enough. you are a miricle to me. you were there thru thick and thin. i couldnt help but cry to see you come early and go back night just so to give me emotional support to me. You helped me with the household at home. You bought food just so i will eat. And you never fail to make me laugh. How could i ask for more? Dear enah, i love you so much and i hope you will stick by me. Thank you enah. Thank you.
Defination of friendship:
"Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words."
Dear friends,
this entry is dedicated to you. It's been days, i know, i should have thanked you guys earlier, but i had not much time. Time was allocated for my mum. So now, this is the opportunity.
Dear Shitness, Thank you for being there for me. Without hesitation to come down to the hospital upon knowing that my mum was admitted to the hospital. I'm touched nevertheless for you guys to make the effort. It is time like this, that i know you guys are friends for life.
To shaz: thank you for the video post. Thank you for the encouraging words you sms me everyday asking how i'm doing.
To aisha: Thank you for informing them of my mum. Thank you for lending me your shoulder and telling me to be strong when im not.
To Hid: It's been a while since i met you. The hug that you gave was uber comforting.
To Nani: Nani, thank you for staying a while longer, holding my hand and sharing your thought in the early morning. I cried reading your msgs, for the thoughts you had touches me, really.
To Barney: Thank you for your endless support. For hugging me and telling that ill still have you.
To Reena : Thanks for coming down babe. *Smiles*
To Yati: Yati, thank you so much for coming for two days tho i know you have a busy schedule. Thanks for the kisses, i need it so much.
To Masline: I miss you so much, and i'm glad you made the effort to see my mum.
To my two lovely guy friends, SOPI and FARID: you both are the best guy friends i had. Sopi, it was never an issue when you said that,i know you meant well ok sis. And Farid, you were the first to call me back when my mum was admitted to the hosp. Thank you for accompanying me on the phone, rushing from work to see my mum.
Last but not least,
MY BESTFRIEND, ENAH.
I cant thank you enough. you are a miricle to me. you were there thru thick and thin. i couldnt help but cry to see you come early and go back night just so to give me emotional support to me. You helped me with the household at home. You bought food just so i will eat. And you never fail to make me laugh. How could i ask for more? Dear enah, i love you so much and i hope you will stick by me. Thank you enah. Thank you.
17.12.08
16.12.08
This morning, 8am.
"Kakak, urut mama sampai lelap ok. Jgn tinggalkan mama"
And i look away,tyrping hard not to weep,which obviously failed.Tears streaming coming down, hands caressly massaging my mum till she stopped moaning in pain.
Dear god, i shall not be selfish. I would rather you take my mum peacefully than to see my mum suffer in pain.
And i know now the true meaning,
"IF you truly love someone, sometimes you have to let them go"
"Kakak, urut mama sampai lelap ok. Jgn tinggalkan mama"
And i look away,tyrping hard not to weep,which obviously failed.Tears streaming coming down, hands caressly massaging my mum till she stopped moaning in pain.
Dear god, i shall not be selfish. I would rather you take my mum peacefully than to see my mum suffer in pain.
And i know now the true meaning,
"IF you truly love someone, sometimes you have to let them go"
15.12.08
13.12.08
Shitty
Shitty.
feeling fucking shitty.
i want out.
fuck. i wish i could get off this country and just start brand new.
fuck everything.
i just wanna break down.
even the impulse shopping and zouking doesnt make me feel better at all.
argh. fuck laa.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
ive got no one to turn too.
feeling fucking shitty.
i want out.
fuck. i wish i could get off this country and just start brand new.
fuck everything.
i just wanna break down.
even the impulse shopping and zouking doesnt make me feel better at all.
argh. fuck laa.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
ive got no one to turn too.
I think i did a brave thing today.
I went out shopping alone. *Roll eyes* Yes yes, i know, nothing brave what you might say.
Neighbourhood area, ok
TOWN? ON A FRIDAY?
It took me a whole of courage to go ahead with my determined plan to hit the MANGO sales. Since yesterday was particularly a failed attempt to go town. Initially a fren agreed to go with me, then at 5 msg-ed me saying that she had to work overtime. For a while i was breathing hard, dissapointed. Bestie went out on date, so i cant bug her. Called Shaz, first said ok then cancelled on me. Msg Sopi, no reply.
For the sake of a SALE, friend or no friend, i was that determined to hit town. MANGO sale was on at 50%. How on earth could i close an eye or two (no pun intended) and forgo Orchard. So, what's a girl to do?
anyway, i ended up with high waisted pants from F21 and shoe!from zara.
Zilth - zero - kosong - yillek from MANGO.
Coz apperently MANGO dissapoint me big time.
Trust me, it's not worth going.
Afterwhich met up with Nana for awhile.
Then head to mit Aisha at her store. Had to wait for her to do closing. Ended up with nothing. No cakes, no drinks! (Aisha, i want the next time round!!) because that Mak nenek was rushing for time.
Oh well.
Anyway, i just realise i did a narrative composition. And i really really suck at it.
Need to work on it.
I went out shopping alone. *Roll eyes* Yes yes, i know, nothing brave what you might say.
Neighbourhood area, ok
TOWN? ON A FRIDAY?
It took me a whole of courage to go ahead with my determined plan to hit the MANGO sales. Since yesterday was particularly a failed attempt to go town. Initially a fren agreed to go with me, then at 5 msg-ed me saying that she had to work overtime. For a while i was breathing hard, dissapointed. Bestie went out on date, so i cant bug her. Called Shaz, first said ok then cancelled on me. Msg Sopi, no reply.
For the sake of a SALE, friend or no friend, i was that determined to hit town. MANGO sale was on at 50%. How on earth could i close an eye or two (no pun intended) and forgo Orchard. So, what's a girl to do?
anyway, i ended up with high waisted pants from F21 and shoe!from zara.
Zilth - zero - kosong - yillek from MANGO.
Coz apperently MANGO dissapoint me big time.
Trust me, it's not worth going.
Afterwhich met up with Nana for awhile.
Then head to mit Aisha at her store. Had to wait for her to do closing. Ended up with nothing. No cakes, no drinks! (Aisha, i want the next time round!!) because that Mak nenek was rushing for time.
Oh well.
Anyway, i just realise i did a narrative composition. And i really really suck at it.
Need to work on it.
12.12.08
My dearest sopi aka sister aka gaywat is in loveeeeeeeee.
hehehehehe.
pls let this be permanent okay hunney.
story telling soon with me.
Zoukout is tomorrow and ive yet decided on what to wear. NANI HELP ME!
I'm having a fashion disaster. Boohoooooooooo.
And guys pls have conference on tml meeting!
Oh btw, i've turned lesbian.
My gf is shazzie.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.
ok ok, kidding.
TGIF, relax yawwww.
11.12.08
As you can see,
CBOX is up. That means i'll blog frequently.
Frequent blog updates = lotsa time to waste = no social life
vise versa
Since the lot of us are either on hiatus, hibernation or whatnots mode, i'll take this opportunity to take a step back too and spend more time for muaself.
Few month back i thought of spending my the last days of the year with friends having the time of my life, enjoying single moment. Or so i thought. Now, hmmmmm, i don't know, we'll see it my year will end up.
Anyway, i miss this bunch lots.
We're not RIP yet are we?
10.12.08
im listening to aerosmith song- armegeddon as im typing this. Level six- carpark a totally last minute, randon meetup with shazzie.
As im typing away, she's browsing the newspaper, classified jobs, earnestly. Wonder when's mine turn to come. Come this March, i'm that determine to tender mine. Yet the insecurity feeling immerse. What if i don't get the job that i want? My future's so blunt that i wish i could turn back time to be a small little kid, with no worries of survival.
My ambition changes as fast as a chemeleon changes it's colour that my head trobs. Whenever i slump onto bed at night, the mind drifts and question after question pops up. It's dampening that i don't have a secured future. Not that i don't have now, i needed something more. It comes down to the money.....and fame. I thirst for fame. I, for one, wants to be known for the things i do. One thing i know, as i kid, ive always yearn to someone famous. Cliche as it may sounds, thoughout the years, yes, im always known. But for wrong reasons that it.
I need to sort out my life soon. Don't ask me to soul search.A soul searching would not do any good.
Life, oh, life.
Why does it get any complicated?
As im typing away, she's browsing the newspaper, classified jobs, earnestly. Wonder when's mine turn to come. Come this March, i'm that determine to tender mine. Yet the insecurity feeling immerse. What if i don't get the job that i want? My future's so blunt that i wish i could turn back time to be a small little kid, with no worries of survival.
My ambition changes as fast as a chemeleon changes it's colour that my head trobs. Whenever i slump onto bed at night, the mind drifts and question after question pops up. It's dampening that i don't have a secured future. Not that i don't have now, i needed something more. It comes down to the money.....and fame. I thirst for fame. I, for one, wants to be known for the things i do. One thing i know, as i kid, ive always yearn to someone famous. Cliche as it may sounds, thoughout the years, yes, im always known. But for wrong reasons that it.
I need to sort out my life soon. Don't ask me to soul search.A soul searching would not do any good.
Life, oh, life.
Why does it get any complicated?
Let's play pretend.
Shall we?
It suddenly falters me that the world is full of drama. We are own puppets. We mask ourself only to please others.
It's never gonna be the same again.
Just when i thought there's such thing as friendship, the table turns and i'm back to square one.
you will never ever learn your lesson, nadya, never.
It suddenly falters me that the world is full of drama. We are own puppets. We mask ourself only to please others.
It's never gonna be the same again.
Just when i thought there's such thing as friendship, the table turns and i'm back to square one.
you will never ever learn your lesson, nadya, never.
8.12.08
Dear god,
why must good things come to an end? why do you give and suddenly you took it away from me? Was i adamant to you?
Did i lose my head that you took it away from me to make me realise, to tap on my shoulder that it's you i should seek serenity from?
Why must we let go of a beautiful friendship?
Why?
why must good things come to an end? why do you give and suddenly you took it away from me? Was i adamant to you?
Did i lose my head that you took it away from me to make me realise, to tap on my shoulder that it's you i should seek serenity from?
Why must we let go of a beautiful friendship?
Why?
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